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Captain Jake vs Risky Boots
JA: This Death Battle is brought to you by MeetUp.com. Intro (Cue Death Battle theme) JA: For every master, boss, mystical teacher, and expert parent in the world, there is always the one student learning straight from them to keep their legacy alive...the apprentice. Wiz: And today, these two pirate apprentices will go head-to-head. BMS: Captain Jake, leader of the Neverland Pirates. Wiz: And Risky Boots, queen of the Seven Seas. BMS: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. JA: And I'm Jersey Angel, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE. Captain Jake (Cue Flight to Neverland) JA: The world of Neverland is a wondrous and mysterious place where no one ever grows up and people can go on adventures for as long as they wish, as long as they're willing to contend with many strange but familiar creatures, magical forests and caves, and pirates. And no one has ever enjoyed it more than the legendary Peter Pan. Wiz: Over the last few years, or perhaps even longer than that, Peter had protected Neverland from the likes of his arch-enemy Captain James Hook. But even with his multiple victories over the red-coated pirate, Hook never gave up and continued to try to take him down. JA: How ironic given the fact that they were pals once. Hell, they even brought down Blackbeard together. BMS: Wait, what? Really? That is ironic. Anyway, like any old hero, despite what his appearance tells you, Pan decided to get himself a crew to combat Hook, and let me tell ya, it was DEFINITELY some funny timing. ''' Wiz: See, he had previously brought with him kids from London, people from an Indian village, and apparently, a group of young-lings called the Lost Boys to join his cause. So, for obvious reasons - and because Disney Junior needed a new show to bring in the masses - Peter Pan hired...more kids to fight Hook. Of course! (music stops) '''BMS: Seriously, Wiz? That surprises you? I mean, even Sub-Zero was a kid before being snatched up by the Lin Kuei to become a cold-blooded killer, so it actually makes sense. (music resumes) JA: Ahem. SO...after some decent searching around and a little or a lot of training, Peter Pan finally had an full functioning crew which we would come to know as the Neverland Pirates, led by the one and only...Jake. Yeah, he doesn't have a last name. None of them do. Anyway, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, everybody! Jake, Izzy, Cubby, and Skully: Yo ho, mateys away! There'll be treasure and adventure today! Skully: Let's go! Jake, Izzy, Cubby, and Skully: Heave-ho, here we go, together as a team! Jake and the Neverland Pirates...and me! (Cue Jake and the Neverland Pirates theme) Wiz: Each member of the crew had their unique specialties which were quite helpful in any situation, whether it would be recovering a soccer ball, discovering another valley, or even protecting a golden egg from Captain Hook. BMS: Skully, their parrot matey, was in charge of being the lookout and basically their "eyes in the sky" for every adventure. Though I might want to recommend keeping him away from any mirrors and instead keep him satisfied with crackers. Skully: Crackers! BMS: Exactly. Cubby is the shortie of the team, but what he lacks in height, he makes up ten-fold with his map-reading AND map-making skills. Jake: Cubby, you're so good with maps, you could make your own and still get us where we need to go. Cubby: Aw, it's nothing. BMS: And then there's Izzy, the spunky, pretty, and 'princessy' of the team with her smarts, bravery, AND her tiny bag of pixie dust she keeps around her neck just in case they need it. Izzy: The fairies gave it to me so we can use it to fly, but only in emergencies! BMS: That's right folks, even Tinkerbell knows what's up. Wiz: However, for this match-up, we will be focusing on Jake and his role in the crew, though it's good to note right now that he WILL be using the map and the pixie dust in the fight, in case you were wondering. (Cue Lead The Way) JA: As the leader, Jake guides his crew through many ventures while also crossing paths with Hook and his surprisingly smaller crew. No really, all he has left is his loyal first mate Mr. Smee and two musical mateys; Sharky and Bones. BMS: Poor Hook. He's failed so many times, he's forced to resort to music lovers for help. Still, they know how to play a mean guitar and drums, so that's something cool. JA: Still, Jake's not one to underestimate Hook. So to help him along his journey, he has his own weapon of choice - the Forever Sword. Wiz: Despite its wood-like appearance, this "sword" is actually able to cut through any material like a normal sword, mostly due to its magical properties. This is because Peter himself carved it out of the Forever Tree, Neverland's primary source of magic. BMS: Now, that's some strong piece of wood! And no, I'm not talking about wood "that way". But as cool as it was, it didn't last forever. See, somehow Neverland started disappearing at one point, and Jake's sword went with most of it into oblivion. But no worries, because he manage to get everything back with an all-new Forever Tree, all while obtaining the shiny and new Destiny Sword, which was basically his old sword being given an golden upgrade. Wiz: It also had the uncanny ability to deflect some variants of magical projectiles. This came in handy when Jake came face-to-face with one of his vicious foes, Shiverjack. BMS: Aka Mark Hamill with a literal taste for "cold" humor. Shiverjack: (laughs) How about an unexpected 'cold' snap! (Cue Roll Up The Map) JA: Humor aside, Jake and his crew would not be such a 'sea-worthy' bunch without a pirate ship to drive around. Or rather be driven by one. Wiz: Enter Bucky, a pirate ship which is somehow supported by intelligence. It can even feel genially happy, especially when Jake and his crew are on board. BMS: If that wasn't enough, Bucky can do some amazing sh%t, too, such as revealing trap doors, drive itself, and even TRANSFORM ITSELF INTO A GOD-DAMN SUBMARINE! Or anything, really. Man, I want this ship. JA: Well, that could be tough, considering Hook himself tried to take him and failed. Also, Bucky has some water cannons and coconut grabbers on board, so you may want to keep your distance. And yes, it can transform, ranging from a drilling machine to a giant flying hot-air balloon. Wiz: Jake also found a invisibility ring in a magician's workshop, which turns him - and anything he grabs onto - invisible in an instant. BMS: Perfect for surprise attacks or a quick getaway. And then there's the legendary Mega-Mecha Sword, which houses a compass, propellers, and a pogo stick? Say, did the producers of the show get that from someone we know, or...? (See Scrooge Mcduck vs Shovel Knight for reference) Wiz: I'd say it's more of an inspiration, but probably. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if the rich water fowl himself had ever come to Neverland sometime before. Hey, it's called a theory for a reason. (Cue Yo Ho Ho) JA: Sadly, that sword is long-gone thanks to Hook. But even that is not Jake's most powerful weapon. Later in the series, A new villain named Lord Fathom unleashed a mighty beast called the Strake -'' '''BMS: Whom may or may not be King Ghidorah's sea-faring cousin.' JA: - After which he proceeded to conquer the Neversea and all those who live on or in it. Wiz: With this threat, Jake and his crew had to round up the best captains from across the seas to band together to stop Fathom. This even included Hook himself. JA: As a wise animal once said, 'a common enemy unites even the oldest of foes.' BMS: And for totally obvious reasons, someone saw fit to give Jake an upgrade, or rather, a promotion to legendary pirate captain status. This resulted in a transformation into what we all can finally acknowledge fully as Captain Jake...officially. (Cue Never Land Pirate Band) Wiz: Apart from a title change, Captain Jake got a new outfit and a brand-new sword, which was even more powerful than the first two swords combined. JA: it was, and now is, the Mighty Captain's Sword, with which, in his first outing, he effortlessly deflected the Strake's powerful blasts. Oh, and it gave him access to self-induced flight, though he'd had gotten that when he saved Neverland from disappearing. Why he didn't use it after that is unknown to me, but whatever. Wiz: Probably for plot twists. Anyway, he can also used heating capabilities to melt ice and stand up to other magical items like the Golden Hook, which turns anything it touches into solid gold. JA: He also got a new ship in the process, too, called the Mighty Colossus. Used by an older pirate captain, this behemoth of a ship has a sh%tload of cannons and plenty of secrets aboard. Fun fact - Jake and his crew actually found the original captain and restored him to good health...and they even got to keep the ship! BMS: Man, JA. How do you know this stuff? JA: Oh, I just watched the whole series hoping for couples to sprout up, but hey, research is research. (Cue Belay) BMS: Hey, no comment. Anyway, along with beating Fathom and Strake with Neptune's permission, Jake's been able to go toe-to-toe with a monkey king, a evil ghost pirate, a mad scientist and even the ex-first matey of Captain Colossus - the old guy - who tried to take the Colossus ship from Jake; the Grim Buccaneer. And that guy is hard to catch on any typical occasion. Wiz: Jake and his crew have also outsmarted Hook numerous times, sometimes even by taking him on by alone, like when James had the Golden Hook and turned Izzy and Cubby into gold. BMS: Think that stopped Jake? Hell no! He was able to trick Hook into turning himself into gold and then properly dispose of the cursed gold hook by melting it in a volcano. JA: And for the cherry on top, he even managed to save and protect Peter Pan's shadow from evil - twice! And if the 1st film has taught us anything, ''THIS ''shadow is hella quick and really slippery. Wiz: We should also mention that Jake himself has gone through being transformed into a wolf and a monkey on two separate occasions, yet he's pulled through both times without harm. BMS: Man, I'd like to say that he was the perfect pirate IF he wasn't so passive most of the time. Even when Captain Hook threatens a coral reef or someone close to him, he still doesn't kill him. (Cue Jake and the Neverland Pirates theme) Wiz: Well, as we said, he is only 9 years old. And death is the last thing he wants for anybody. Still, he has fallen for some of Hook's tricks over the course of his leadership. Plus, he does have a hard time taking in failure. JA: Much like Terry Bogard, if Jake feels like he's failed something, or gone through a sad event, like losing Bucky to Hook after a race, it could really shake him up. BMS: Yeah, I know how he feels. Luckily, he and the crew got Bucky back. How? Well, while Izzy, Cubby, and Skully were busy picking bells, Jake and Pan were distracting a DRAGON so they could find the right one and ONCE AGAIN outshine Hook. Damn, what a brave kid! JA: Indeed. Also, while he is passive, certain situations - like this upcoming Death Battle for example - can force him to get serious enough to do unexpected things, like when Captain Shade - a pirate literally made of shadows - had swiped Peter's shadow, and was trying to get away from Jake and his crew so he could escape to the Shadow World. Long story. BMS: And how did good ole Captain Jake respond? He asked his firefly friend Brightly and a group of other fireflies to actually fly into Shade's body and just downright make him EXPLODE, along with his ship, while Pan's shadow managed to get away. Props to you, Jake, I did NOT see that coming! Wiz: Just goes to show that whenever Neverland is threatened, nothing will get in the way of the Neverland Pirates and their fearless pirate leader, Captain Jake. Captain Jake, Izzy, Cubby, and Skully: Yo ho, let's go! (2x) All aboard on our way with Captain Jake! Lead the way! Captain Jake: Come on crew, I'm callin you! Captain Jake, Izzy, Cubby, and Skully: We're with you all the way! Captain Jake: Band together, mateys... Captain Jake, Izzy, Cubby, and Skully: And anchors away! We'll set sail with Captain Jake today! Captain Jake, Izzy, Cubby, Skully, and audience: Yo ho, Captain Jake! Risky Boots (Cue Something's Amiss) Wiz: Long, long ago, the humans of a place called Sequin Land were spending days of peace with mystical beings known as genies. (cue Pirate Master laugh) BMS: Buuuuuuuuuuuut like any other place that has peace, it was not without its chaos. There was a creature so devastating, so strong, and so evil, he nearly took the entire realm by force. He was called... The Pirate Master. JA: Yet as strong as he was, he was eventually defeated by the Genies, whom had used every bit of their magic to literally turn him to ash and bone. BMS: Holy sh%t! Talk about an overkill! Anyway, turns out he had a first mate on board who had the crazy idea of taking over his ship when he finally fell, and...she did! Yeah, did I forget to mention that this first mate was a woman? A tall, SEXY woman? (Cue Risky Boots theme) Wiz: Ahem. This was the pirate Risky Boots, and she wanted to take over Sequin Land all for herself. So with the Pirate Master gone, she took his Tinkerbat crew, his ship, and his...face skull and began her conquest across the seas. JA: For a few years, she practically went unopposed by the civilians of the infamous Scuttle Town, so taking over wasn't that tough for her. That is, until one day she ran into their guardian genie Shantaewho would prove to be her greatest adversary. (Cue Risky Boots laugh and then Neo Burning Town) BMS: Now as we know, Shantae is a mystical half-genie with incredible powers, yet Risky is completely unfazed by this. Why? Because she feels that genies are weaklings, so she spent most of her time trying to conquer them...and anyone possible close to them, of course. Because what's a queen of the seven seas suppose to do other than force their will onto others for a living? Wiz: Maybe the opposite? Or her nails? JA: That's such a stereotype, Wiz. Anyway, Risky has her ways of taking control of things, even in battle. BMS: Like every pirate, she comes fully loaded with her own set of weapons. First up is her signature Flintlock Pistol, which is small, but perfect for short range distance firing. Wiz: A single bullet from a flintlock pistol can reach a speed of about 1,000 ft/s when fired, which is almost supersonic at best, though it's important to note that the bullet would weigh about 10-15 times the weight of a .22 rimfire bullet. (See this for details) JA: Unfortunately, Risky's bullets don't go that fast, but they can inflict good damage, especially after being upgraded. BMS: Good thing she also had her cannon around. With it, she can launch herself into the air while also blasting foes below with her deadly cannonballs. Wiz: Considering that typical cannons of THAT size can weigh around 1600 lbs, and their cannonballs can weigh up to 24 lbs, this method would most likely kill a normal human being from a well-distance height. (See this for details) JA: It's as ridiculous as it sounds. You would literally need perfect balance to keep the cannon from turning on a angle during mid-flight, especially after being fired. (Cue Boss - Shantae Half-Genie Hero) BMS: But she's DEFINITELY got the body for that, and that's one of her best qualities. But she's not just a firearms gal, she's also a master in sword combat. Wiz: Most notably with her Scimitar, which is not only used in combat, but it can also break rock barriers. Assuming the rocks in the Shantae franchise are made of granite, this means that the Risky's Scimitar would have to be made from iron and steel combined. (See this for details) In this instance, this would make her blade powerful enough to cut through other metals with ease. BMS: She can also throw it like a boomerang and it somehow returns. How the hell does that work? JA: Scimitars are built to have curved edges, so it's reasonable to believe that with the way this Scimitar was designed, it can be tossed in a such a way that it could come back. As for the rest of her arsenal on hand, she can use her hat for flying flight via parachuting around, her Kraken ball grants underwater travel, and her boots which helps increase her speed. In fact, for a pirate this wild, she's actually pretty fast. '' Wiz: You're not kidding. She appears to have athleticism on par with a superhuman. She can perform dashes in mid-air for dive bombs and- '''BMS: And that cheap-ass slide kick! Again with the slide kicks! Now where has this been seen before?' JA: With her energy, she's even able to jump huge distances without her cannon. But that's not all that makes her a threat. Wiz: She's not just tough, she seems to have a knack for technology, despite the time period. She's capable of conceiving machines for her crew of Tinkerbats to build and operate accurately. (Cue Theme - Squid Baron) BMS: Oh yeah, we can't forget that this Queen of the Seas has her own ship and crew now, can we? Like a swarm of killer bees, they swarm every town to pillage and fight with their own swords. Just wish they could put up more of a fight. Wiz: But the majority of their time is often spent making machines for Risky Boots. Apparently, they've built quite a few over the years. JA: Well, they obviously built the Pirate Master's ship, but there's also the Tinker Tank (powered by a Steam Engine and 4 Elemental Stones), two steam-powered Tinker Tubs (ships come to life), the aptly-named P.O.O.P.T.O.O.T. (an acronym to a huge ship with a slug at the bottom that carries the ship), and one of Risky's most successful machines yet, the Tinker Brain. (Cue Dynamo) Wiz: The Tinker Brain was designed to open a portal to the Genie Realm, and once there, it would corrupt the genies living there and make them do Risky's bidding. BMS: And how does someone corrupt a genie? Well, turns out being a slave to PM actually has its magical benefits as much as physical. In a lot of cases, Risky can use dark magic, which is pretty f$%king harmful to lots of people, but not her. Guess that explains where she got that purple skin tone from. I always thought it was because of bad shampoo gone worse. JA: You gotta have a real tough body to be able to handle stuff like that, which she certainly has. With all this at her disposal, Risky Boots has really made progress in her quest to conquer everything. Wiz: She's managed to hold her grip of the seas for years, battling all sorts of foes as well, ranging from the Barons of Sequin Land to even Shantae herself. Despite clearly having a disadvantage against a magical being, Risky's been capable of holding her own and even going so far as to steal Shantae's magic half and turning it into Nega-Shantae, one of the most deadliest characters in the franchise. BMS: And thanks to her superhuman capabilities, she's been known to have a insane endurance factor. I mean, she's taken an unbelievable amount of hits from Shantae, and she still manages to get away almost completely unscathed every single time. Man, I think I've just found my next lady. He he. (Cue Risky Boots - Half-Genie Hero) JA: But she's definitely not invincible. She's been defeated by Shantae more than once, and if she doesn't have her weapons on her, even with her own kicks, she's pretty much weakened. '' '''BMS: Well, that's stupid. So all I'd have to do is take her weapons and that's it? She's done?' Wiz: Umm...not always. After Nega-Shantae was destroyed, the dark magic had spread throughout Sequin Land, unintentionally reviving the Pirate Master, so Risky enlisted Shantae to help collect the dark magic in hopes of stopping him. JA: It didn't work, and Risky got captured. But during the final fight, Shantae was forced to hand over the dark magic for Risky's freedom, which in turn was changed to light magic. Thus, Shantae got her powers back. BMS: And during this rejuvenated battle, Risky Boots used a giant-sized cannon built by Ammo Baron to give PM a taste of her vengeance. When it was all over, the evil skeleton captain was no more, and Risky promptly took back her title as the scourge of the seas. Again. All-in-all, Risky Boots is a fearsome pirate gal to a fault, so I'd think twice before facing off with this crazy queen. Oh, and of course her awesome rack! Wiz: AHA! I knew you would say that! Now pay up! JA: Seriously? You made a bet again that Boomstick would say something like that? Wiz: Hell, yeah! I have to have some fun on this show. You know, other than forcing two different people to fight all the time. BMS: Oh, don't fret, JA. It was still worth it. Man, now I know again how I want to die... Risky Boots: Ho ho ho! No need for alarm! I'm just dropping by for this! Shantae: RISKY BOOTS! Risky Boots: In the flesh! (Death Battle doors close at this point) Pre-Battle (Cue Death Battle theme) Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. BMS: But first, JA's got something good for ya. (Cue We Love Burning Town) JA: Now, I'm a guy who loves talking to and doing stuff with people. But it's where I want to be for all of it that matters. Luckily, there's a site called Meetup.com, one of the best sites for information about upcoming events. Wiz: These events include movies, nature walks, board game tournaments, and just about anything you can think of. BMS: Ooh, I heard that there was going to be a cooking event soon, so I might want to do that. JA: No problem. Get signed up for free today and you can RSVP to any events at any time, though space is often limited. Wiz: And it's not an experience, it's also a chance to make new friends. Maybe I'll get into that myself. JA: That would be cool. So why wait? Get started today at Meetup.com and see for yourself. BMS: But first...(with JA) IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLLLLLLLLLLLLE...PIRATE STYLE! DEATH BATTLE! Location: Neverland (cue Morning Mood) We zoom in on a small island known as Pirate Island, where we see a lookout point rising out of a open tree at the top of a hill. Hanging there is a parrot with a skull bandana. His name is Skully. Skully: (sniffs the air) Ah. There's nothing like a beautiful sunrise here in Neverland to start the day. Welp, time for lookout duty. While looking around the surrounding area, he quickly notices something in the distance. Skully: Wait a second. What's that over there? '' Then, someone's voice is heard. ''Captain Hook: Forward, men! There's treasure to be found on that there island! (points to Pirate Island) I just know it! (laughs) ''(Cue Cranky Cook, zoom in on Sharky and Bones) ''Skully: Crackers! It's ole featherhat and his crew! All hands on beach! At the bottom of the hill, a secret door opens, and three pirate kids run out, one of them being Captain Jake. Jake: Quickly, crew! We need to protect the island! But, unknown to Hook and Skully, someone else far away was watching them. ???: Hmm...ah, so there is a secret on that island, just like my sources said. (chuckles) By this time, Hook and his crew step on the beach, only to be greeted by the young pirates. Jake: Hold it right there, Hook! '' '''Who Won?' WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! Category:'Pirates' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Battle of the Genders' themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles under construction for 1 year Category:Death Battles under construction for 2 years